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This Is the Unhealthiest Thing Ever Approved By the American Medical Association

Welcome to the Cracked newsletter!

This issue is about the forgotten ‘Peanuts’ kids, the least healthy thing approved by the A.M.A., trivia, false facts, and much more.

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We all know Linus and LucySchroeder and Pig Pen, but there are dozens of kids from Charles Schulz’s Peanuts strips that the ol’ blockhead himself would have trouble identifying. Like Shermy — Charlie Brown’s one-time best friend and original enemy — and Violet, who was basically Lucy before Lucy. These are characters that Schulz created, toyed around with and eventually discarded or relegated to the background. But if you’ve got a big exam coming up about obscure Peanuts characters, here’s your study guide to the 10 most notable of them…

Im not one of these wackos or Christian Scientists who thinks doctors are out to get us, or to inject a microchip in us so they can track us going from our bed to our office chair and back. Should some part of my body be aching or oozing, Im headed directly for the nearest medical professional to get that thing checked out (or at least I would, if we had a functioning health-care system.) I dont want to be one of those people who ignores a rash and then it eventually turns into a face, whispering to me in dead languages.

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