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This issue is about constant fires, things celebrities want us to forget, a live ‘Cheers’ reunion panel, graduation advice from Patton Oswalt, and much more.

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Patton Oswalt Has Three Words for Grads: You Poor Bastards

The graduating seniors at William & Mary were likely expecting some laughs when they heard that alumnus Patton Oswalt (class of 1991, represent!) was going to be their commencement speaker. Oswalt delivers on the yuks, but his hearty congratulations are tinged with acid. In his ceremonial cap and gown, Oswalt addresses the students with a pained introduction: “To the graduating class of 2023, I say three words: you poor bastards.”

‘The Bonfire of the Vanities’ Is the Tom Hanks Movie That Tom Hanks Would Like to Forget

In early May, Tom Hanks talked to The New Yorker’s David Remnick about his new book, The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece, in which he mentions that he dislikes the idea of people actively hating any movie. Remnick wondered why that bothered him.

“Okay, let’s admit this: We all have seen movies that we hate,” Hanks responded. “I have been in some movies that I hate. You have seen some of my movies and you hate them.” Hanks went on to explain all the conditions that go into determining a film’s fate — including its box-office performance and reviews — but the one thing he wouldn’t reveal was what films of his he hates. It’s easy to speculate, although I should point out that some of his movies that bombed are ones he deeply loves.

More Celeb Reads:

• 16 Oops! Auditions Actors Just Want To Forget

• 6 Hilarious Failures Celebrities Want You to Forget

• 30 Products Companies Want To Forget

• 7 Embarrassing Special FX Famous Actors Wish You'd Forget

• 5 Celebrity Instructional Videos They'd Like You to Forget

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