34 of the Funniest Reasons People Called 9-1-1

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“You going to Albert Brooks' funeral?” Larry asks Jeff as they wait for an elevator in Season 11’s kickoff episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm

“I have no choice,” gripes Jeff. “Who throws a funeral for themselves while they're alive?”

Unlike most dude comedians with a podcast, Bill Burr doesn’t treat former president Donald Trump as if he is Burr’s favorite character in the TV show that is America — and Burr’s wife, Nia Renée Hill, has even less patience for the future felon. 

Over the weekend, the highly anticipated UFC 295 attracted all kinds of A-listers to Madison Square Garden. As is customary each time Dana White’s fighting league hosts one of their flagship events, a good chunk of the downtime between bouts was spent sticking cameras in the faces of every celebrity in the first few rows, with White’s guest of honor, the legally embattled Trump, taking top billing among the spectators.

TWEET OF THE DAY