Welcome to the Cracked newsletter!

This issue is about Phil Hartman, ‘Expend4bles,’ movies that missed their own point, trivia, historical figures, and much more.

Was this email forwarded to you? Subscribe here.

The 75 Greatest Phil Hartman ‘SNL’ Sketches, According to His Castmates and Writers

It’s bittersweet to imagine how the late Phil Hartman would have celebrated this month on what would have been his 75th birthday. It’s not difficult to picture him partying with contemporaries Steve Martin and Martin Short as part of the ensemble on Only Murders in the Building, perhaps playing an unctuous long-time tenant with impeccable taste in linens and a penchant for murder. Then again, Hartman might have been indulging some of his many interests outside of comedy — drawing, surfing philosophy, classic cars. Certainly he would have been a member of Saturday Night Live’s Five-Timers Club by now, a man who “has done more work that’s touched greatness than probably anybody else who’s ever been here,” according to no less of an authority than Lorne Michaels.

‘Expend4bles’ Is ‘Mission: Impossible’ for Morons

Last year, Quentin Tarantino made the fairly obvious observation that audiences don’t go to movies for stars anymore — they go to see a character they love. (Chris Hemsworth is nice and all, but you’re really buying a ticket to see Thor.) But if there’s one franchise that’s the exception to that rule, it’s the Expendables. I defy even hardcore fans of the franchise to tell me the names of its main characters, which are Barney Ross and Lee Christmas. Nobody is going to a new Expendables flick to catch up with Barney Ross and Lee Christmas. They’re there to watch Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham do their shtick — a shtick that, remarkably, has now extended over four films. This series is proof that if there’s anything moviegoers crave more than action, it’s older dudes cracking terrible jokes back and forth to one another.

TWEET OF THE DAY

ARTICLES | PICTOFACTS | VIDEOS